More is More

My friend posted a stunning New Year's Eve outfit on the socials this morning accompanied by an Iris Apfel quote; 'More is more and less is a bore.' Yes.

I'm in the last year of my 30's and I've gotta say, I'm super excited for 40. I've spent the last year plus in the throes of starting a new business (Purl2 Walla Walla - Stop by if you're in town!) with a good friend and it's been an amazing year of learning more about myself, re-learning that elusive work-life balance. Acknowledging the things I suck at and working to rectify them if I need to, or asking for the help to fill in the blanks. Recognizing things I'm really good at and trying to let them shine.

This year. I want more. 

More laughter that makes me throw my head back, more tender glances at my kids so they have no doubts that my stern voice at times is backed with an endless well of love and empathy for them, more time spent without a screen to separate us, more fresh air breathed in. A little time by the ocean, some more in the mountains. A few deep breaths to take a beat and remember that parenting a range of kids, or any kids at all, is really fucking hard, but it doesn't have to be a slog; they're going to be okay. Being a rigid hag won't help anything.

More grace with my husband, more grace with myself. More movement of my body for the sake of how glorious it feels to work hard, not as a punishment or a guilty reaction to whatever I just ate. More appreciation of all that my body has done for me, less lamenting the things I don't love about it. Because for reals, what's more boring than hearing about what people hate about themselves?

More really good meals that take a long time to consume and are filled with conversation. More friends at my table. More time to be creative in a conscious way. Less clutter, leaving more space to be. More books read, more time spent listening. More of 'if it's not a hell yes, it's a no' to leave room for the things I really want to do. More travel. More exposure to cultures I don't understand, or don't know enough about.

There is a definite swing in our culture in this direction, and I am hopeful. We have so much chaos and ugliness right now, I want to do what I can to bring light. As a naturally anxious worst-case-scenario person, this is work. At the end of the day, or year, or life, I know it will be work worth doing. What do you want more of this year? What are you doing to make it happen?

Cheers to a 2019 that you'll reflect on with happiness and feelings of abundance.

(All photos credit to Gigi Hickman Photography; October 2018)

Paper Tigers

photo via press kit at papertigersmovie.com

Last night I had the opportunity to screen the new documentary Paper Tigers. Directed by Jamie Redford, this film delves into the lives of several students at Lincoln High, Walla Walla's alternative high school. In the last five years, the school has shifted to a model of non-punitive discipline structure that works with a trauma-informed staff and administration who are armed with research about Adverse Childhood Experience(s) (ACEs) and the affect that living in an environment of chronic stress and compound trauma has on the brains of children. It followed several students over the course of a year, graduating in 2013. It is astounding to me the differences that have been the result of this pardigm shift over such a short period of time. Watch the trailer by clicking here.

Coming from a child welfare background, it was already a subject that was interesting to me, and I've been a bit of a docu-junkie lately watching almost every documentary available on Netflix revolving around our penal system, drug wars, food insecurity, substance abuse, immigration...all of which seem to tie back into generational poverty and stress. As one documentary ends and I go to choose the next, I find myself thinking about all of the social implications, but then not sure of concrete ways I could apply what I've just seen to my own environment. After finishing last night, it was almost more overwhelming because it is my environment that I just spend the last two hours watching. I lay in bed with my mind turning over ideas and thinking about the kids and teachers in the film (Hey! She went to bootcamp with me; hey! I know her!).

So, back to what we can do. Immediately. Without special training. Be kind to each face you see walking around town. Give grace freely and without patronism, even when you know a person, you don't know all that they struggle with. Know someone that works at Lincoln? Support them. They're willingly taking on an enormous emotional load by working with a high-risk student body. You can love the kids and your work, but it still takes a toll. Donate to the attached Health Center- they have a wishlist with items as easy as picking up an extra box of band-aids or granola bars the next time you go grocery shopping. They also have an extensive list of volunteer opportunities for everything from spring cleaning at the clinic to stuffing envelopes for mailers to volunteering your time as a healthcare provider or mental health professional. I hope that the list of ways we can support only grows from here.

The only misgiving I had about it was that a lot of the shots were of the most barren parts of town (empty railroad tracks, highway underpasses, etc). I totally understand why this was done from a theatric/cinematic standpoint, but I felt like in order to get a full picture of the community, it's almost more dramatic to see the stark contrast between wealth and poverty in this little town, and that they all exist within blocks of each other, often within the same block. It makes the work that Lincoln High is doing so well even more important.

If you didn't get a chance to attend the screening (both showings were sold out), I know that there are several people interested in organizing screenings and I hope to take on organizing one for later this fall. After a few months, it will be released to the educational sector and then in Spring of 2016, it will be released for individual purchase on platforms like iTunes and Amazon. There is so much to be said about this topic and the film that I can't even seem to gather my thoughts. It's a great conversation starter, and I know it will result in more schools in the nation making a shift to this model where they can. I hope that in our community it raises awareness, and support of, the amazing things that can result from tireless educators, counselors, law enforcement and healthcare providers who are a source of unwavering support and stability to the kids who need it the very most.

Mr. Sporleder, Lincoln's principal, has since retired and is working with the Children's Resilience Initiative 'Resilience Trumps Aces' and travels for speaking engagements and education throughout the country. The results from Lincoln's implementation of the trauma-aware protocols have gained national attention.

During the Q & A last night, Mr. Redford said that Paper Tigers' follow-up Resilience is in the works, and it sounds like it'll be another good one to watch.