9021-Oh Really?!

With all the new developments in pop culture, I'm being forced to continually reveal what a dork I am. I was so excited when The Hills started back up again, and was even more excited when I was saw the ad for the 'sneak peak' at the new 90210, but I remember watching 90210, Party of Five and Melrose Place when I was in middle/high school, and just have a feeling that it won't be the same...was that a flash of Lori Laughlin (Becky on Full House) playing the new Mrs. Walsh?

Along those same lines, I was saddened and deeply troubled when I read this post on my sister's blog In Search of Balance. Yes, that's right, they're re-releasing the Sweet Valley High series. At first, I was stoked! I am just pathetic enough that I would willingly dive back into the lives of Elizabeth and Jessica with their peaches and cream complexions and perfect size 6 figures. That was, until I realized that it was not a simple re-release...the tomes have been updated with lingo and accessories to appeal to today's teens.

The following excerpt is taken from #1 which is entitled Double Love.

Old Version: "Oh, Lizzie, do you believe how absolutely horrendous I look today!" Jessica Wakefield groaned as she stepped in front of her sister, Elizabeth, and stared at herself in the bedroom mirror. "I'm so gross! Just look at me. Everything is totally wrong. To begin with, I'm disgustingly fat..." With that, she spun around to show off a stunning figure without an extra ounce visible anywhere."

New Version: "Okay, when did I get so hideous?" Jessica Wakefield groaned. She leaned in toward her bedroom mirror as her twin sister, Elizabeth, rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Liz, it's like somebody snuck into my room last night and whacked me with the ugly stick."

Why, Why, Why? Oh, and even better; the girls are now a 'perfect' size 4. Aparrently 4 is the new 6...which leads me to another gripe.

I was on vacation with my oh-so-cute niece who dresses Abercrombie perfect (read: skinny jeans and even skinnier shirts). She was appalled when I suggested that she may need to go up one size in a certain cut of jeans from Hollister, as they appeared to run small...with a look of horror, she exclaimed that she could not wear 'fat jeans'. Hmmmm...last I checked a size 7 pair of Hollister Skinny Jeans would not in any realm be considered fat pants. For her birthday, I told her I would be happy to buy her a pair of pants, but that I would only buy them if they fit. Standing outside the dressing room at Abercrombie, I approved of her choice (which were the 'skinny' size), proving that the other brand really does run small.

I remember always thinking how 'fat' I was in high school, and now I look at those pictures and would give a lot to be that thin again. But, I feel like even in comparison to my self-image then, kids (especially girls) today are being held to an impossible standard of thin. As I was paying for the pants, the clerk saw what he thought was an Abercrombie employee card in my wallet, and asked about it with a chipper smile. I dryly replied that I was fairly certain I didn't fit the size requirements to be employed at the big AF, and his smile quickly faded as he went about busily finishing the transaction.

It's times like these that I'm glad I have boys so far. It must be hard for my sister to see this absolutely gorgeous girl tear herself down when she's inherited genes from my brother-in-law that allow her to be thin where we all struggle with our Swedish cankles!

I just hope that she sees pictures of herself at this age when she's 30 and says "Damn! I was fiiiiiiiiiine!"