My Fall From Grace

There is perhaps nothing funnier to me than watching someone fall. I'm not talking about a little slip, I mean bouncing down the stairs or slipping with feet in the air falling down. There are many incidents I've witnessed from which I thought I'd never recover.

Basic human decency does not prevent me from doubling over with laughter prior to ensuring that someone is physically okay. I hope that this is because I've never actually been faced with someone really injuring themselves, and that if it were the case, I could call 9-1-1 and complete the call without breaking down.

Today, we awoke to find an overnight dump of about ten inches of snow. Because I had already promised H that we could get donuts on the way to our playdate (which got cancelled due to the continued onslaught and requests by bejeweled newscasters to stay off the roads), I decided to make the trek across our parking lot to the newly opened Dunkin Donuts.

Once outside, I decided to take the road most traveled, and headed on the main part of the apartment's drive, instead of slogging through the snow. I got to the road just as a bobcat plow was trying to back up, a truck plow was turning onto the road, and a fellow apartment-dweller was driving his camry-type car to work.

In my quest to get out of their way so that I wasn't the stupid bumbler who had to go out walking while they had real work to do, I quickened my steps in my trusty dansko clogs, which had not yet failed me on the ice or snow...

I stepped from fresh, crunchy snow, to just-plowed slickety slickness, and my legs went up from underneath me, as I tried to say wow, which came out as woaoaoaoaoaugh, as I landed with a thud on my backside.

I immediately looked around, with the stupid grin on your face that says "Did you see me? And if you did, wasn't it funny?" Because I would have died if any of the three men had abandoned their work to see that I was okay. The driver of the compact car, nodded at me and gave a slight wave, which was probably all he was able to do before speeding away to laugh or call a friend and say, Guess What I Just Saw?! As I was standing up, my feet started to slip from under me and I thought, "Oh God, please let me be able to get up and out of the road quickly before I die of embarrassment!"

I was up and at 'em, continuing on my journey to aquire coffee and donuts. Needless to say, I had really wet pant legs when I got home, because I decided to walk through all the fresh snow in order to prevent another accident. I would have been really annoyed if I dropped my coffee and donuts after all that effort.

After I fell, I immediately thought "Thank God I didn't have H with me." Then it dawned on me..."I'm almost in my third trimester of pregnancy!" I fell on my backside/hip, not flat on my back/side or stomach, and there was no bouncing or sickening thud involved. In fact, the spot that I landed on didn't even hurt...aside from my wounded pride, of course. It's been over 12 hours, and it's all good...I still laughed when typing it, but when you read it you may be like, 'huh?' Guess you had to be there!