Ode to Nancy

Today, I thought I'd take the time to honor the best prankster in Union County. For some, April Fools is a day that is just plain fun. For people like my mother, it's a day that is anticipated and plotted for to the extreme.

Every year, we'd know that the date was looming, and EVERY year, she got us. By high school, we got to the point that we'd pick through our breakfast cereal, looking for plastic bugs or have cash ready to buy lunch when our Styrofoam plastic-roach-filled sandwich was lovingly packed by dear old mom. I think that the thrill of watching us walk on eggshells all day was almost more fun than the actual trick itself. She quickly learned that she had to get us earlier and earlier. My senior year, she even stooped to the level of putting saran wrap over the toilet...it's a good thing I always showered in the morning.

For her, the more props the better. She has worn 'BillyBob' teeth to work several times, and considering that she works at Wal-Mart in rural America it takes people awhile to realize that it's a joke, making it even more funny.

Being from a small town, she involved whoever she needed to in order to make her pranks seem legitimate, as everyone grew more and more weary of her on that fateful day each year. When I was 16, she had the chief of police call our house and leave a message for my little sister and I that we had broken curfew and needed to report to his office within 12 hours. At the end of the message, he officiously left the date. It took a couple of adrenaline-filled minutes for us to realize what that meant.

My best friends parents were also my parents' best friends, so she would drive over to their house in the wee hours of the morning to shrink wrap their front door or she's sneak a rubber snake in their bed while having lunch at their house. Sending people into a panic or generally doing things that any other day of the year would just piss you off was something that she seriously NEVER gets tired of. She has this crazy cackle of a laugh, and it just erupts from her when her pranks go well.

All my life I've been waiting for the day when I could pull one over one her, and it just doesn't happen. This morning, I thought I would finally have my shot. I live three hours ahead now, so when I called at 5am her time and she groggily answered the phone, I launched into my tearful trick...no dice. She just said "You liar! It's April Fool's Day!" Curses, foiled again!

Anyway, here's to you, Nancy Lou. (I hope you all realize that she doesn't truly look like that in 'real life'.)