"Cottage Crafts"

Just so you know, I come by it honestly. My sisters and I received the following email from our mom last night*:

Dearest Daughters,

I was feeling a little left out because you all seem to lead a much more interesting life than me and decided to find out where or what my interests were. As I was laying in bed this morning trying to get back to sleep after getting up to pee for the third time in as many hours I was thinking of ways to block the sun out of my eyes.

It was then that I had this fabulous idea for a sure thing money maker for the people everywhere in this financially challenged area. It will be called 'Fancy Nancy's Ghetto Fabulous Eye Mask.' All you need is a sock and some string.

If you want when youare done sleeping...and this is wherethe real money comes in, you can cut holes in the sock for eyes and go rob a bank. No one will recognize you. Who would ever suspect me, a lowly little clerk at walmart, of sleeeping by day with my Ghetto Fab eye mask and robbing banks in the evening.

Of course, the most important thing is not to cut the eye holes out all the way but make handy little flaps to pull down over the holes for the day. Hey, whadda ya think? Do you think there is a market for such a handy little cottage industry? Me neither. I was just trying to lull my self back to sleep so I can go to work and make an honest living.

Have a good day!

Love Mommy

I don't know what was more disturbing, that my mom used the term Ghetto Fabulous, or that she considered making bank robbing eye-wear a 'cottage industry.'

*I took the liberty of editing the email because my mom has yet to realize in her technological enlightenment that the large key at the upper right-hand corner with the arrow pointing to the left will help the reader more easily decipher your notes to them. She also thinks that punctuation and the space bar are superfluous because time is of the essence when penning such tomes.