Just Another Midlife Monday (on a Tuesday)

I've been in Walla Walla now for longer than I've lived anywhere as an adult. After living in the same house (barely even switching bedrooms) in a very small town from birth to college (and even then, I went to college in the town next door), the amount of moving J and I did in the first half of our marriage was crazy for me. From my hometown to Portland, a move within Portland, Portland to Worcester, Mass, and finally, Worcester back to the west coast to settle in Everytown, USA.

It was so weird to be moving 'home', but not. I'm very close to my family, so being only an hour-and-a-half from my parents and two of my sisters was fantastic. But it wasn't really home. Living in a smallish town is a funny thing. You know so many people, you see them out and about and say hello in the grocery store, and with social media you kind of know what everyone is up to even without seeing them in person. Which makes you feel connected. But still a little lonely.

Living in Portland, my best friends were the girls I worked with. We saw each other 5 days a week and had this fast and furious, incredibly emotionally draining job that made us each others' people almost instantly. When I started in that office, we were all fairly newly-wed or still single; there were less than ten of us doing the work of what would end up by the time I left four years later being three separate offices with a full team in each office spread throughout three cities in the county. There were babies born, engagements and weddings celebrated, and the shared grief of watching your dear friend lose her husband so very unexpectedly.  A decade later when my friend and I had the grand opening of our yarn store in Walla Walla, I looked up to see that these girls had surprised me by coming from Portland to celebrate with me. I had a full ugly cry because it was just the most unexpected thing. And everything I didn't realize I needed.

Living in Massachusetts, my best friends were my fellow moms-in-the-trenches with little ones. I'd gone from working very full time to being a stay-at-home mom to a super busy toddler H, and I got pregnant with Charlie the month after we moved in. It was daunting to move that far away and not know a soul. I signed up for a moms' group before we hit the road, and by the time I hit Iowa City to stay with my sister for the half-way pit stop, there was an email in my in-box from the President of the group with an invitation to have dinner at her house the night we drove into town. That group (three cheers for Mothers and More, Assabet Valley Chapter) was my life. It was a group focused on the mother, with book clubs and movie nights, a baby-sitting co-op so that you could have a date night or go to the moms' night out functions without spending a thousand dollars on a sitter that we just did not have. There were play groups and trips to the Children's Museum in Boston, Davis Farmland (the best place evah) to Plimouth Plantation, and more jaunts to the beach (both ocean and town) than I can count. There were even evening play dates once a month where you'd round up all the kids and take them to a giant park or indoor playspace in the winter with a stack of pizzas, so that  it was just bath and bed on your own. With so many nights of putting babies to bed alone; those friends were sanity-saving. There was just so much to do, and see, and be, and I loved it there. At the very end of my time there, I joined a running group and ran my first half-marathon, and made even more amazing friends. There are still a few girlfriends in particular who I meet up with as often as I can and every time we're together, the distance melts away and I leave my time with them filled back up with belly laughs and good conversation. And tasty cocktails.

Over the three years I lived in Massachusetts, some of the moms ended up not being as active in the group as their older kids got into elementary school and I was like, I don't get it. Why are they busier now that they've got kids in school? Shouldn't they have more free time?  As we were leaving Massachusetts, I would have an in-coming Kindergartner in Walla Walla, I couldn't wait to have bigger kids in school! I was just imaging all of the special things I'd have time to do one-on-one with subsequent little kids!

I know. Don't worry, that reality check was a good one. Having kids at school bring PTA requests and volunteer opportunities, and teacher conferences, and teacher emails about this baby who doesn't quite fit the regular classroom mold, and the checking of the backpacks, and the monitoring of the homework, and the oh my god where has my sweet baby gone and who is this emotional wreck in their place?! Then came babies three and four and the connections I had with women who were in H's class were hard to maintain because I had little kids to juggle whereas they were done, and the connections I could make with the little kid set were hard because I was finally the one with the big kids at the playground who the moms of littles eyed warily as they launched their large bodies willy-nilly. Not to mention a hard-working husband with a tricky schedule in his civilian job and a commitment to Uncle Sam that takes him away at least one weekend a month.

So here I am. Almost nine years in and wondering when I'll make connections like the ones I had before. I have friends here (with my closest friend being my business partner which now means opposite schedules), and I appreciate those friendships immensely.  I just don't have the situation where were we get to spend a lot of time together in person. And when we do get it, the amount of planning and orchestration involved to get schedules to align is usually rocket-launch-esque. My logical brain understands that, frankly, this is all a function of the time of my life right now. I don't have much time to foster physical social connections outside of my commitments to my husband, kids, business and extended family and I want to be fully present for the mothering and wife-ing, bizz-partnering, daughtering and sistering. That just doesn't stop me from feeling twinges of self-pity at posts of girlfriends out having a gay old time; even if I didn't want to be with that particular group of people, the want for having my people to do them with was there. I consider myself to be a reasonably happy person, who generally find enjoyment in whatever I'm doing at the time, so what is happening?!

So then, I finally did what any self-respecting do-it-herself girl does and I cried about it to my husband. He looked at me kindly and was like 'Awww, it's just that middle of life, what is my purpose, what am I doing kind of uneasiness. We all kinda feel that way for a little bit.' So I dried my tears and I sat with that realization. I've spent a good chunk of my married and adult life with big changes. New town, new apartment, new baby, new apartment, new town, new baby, new town, new house, new baby, new baby, deployed spouse, new house, new business, and then...no more cribs, no more diapers, no more strollers, no more moves and with each thing I ditched that was part of that life of change I felt a lightness and at the same time without even noticing it I was waiting for the next big thing. A big project, or a big move, or a big...something. Looks like my next something will be a big ol' case of almost-forty angst. That one might be slightly less fun to unpack.

Paper Tigers

photo via press kit at papertigersmovie.com

Last night I had the opportunity to screen the new documentary Paper Tigers. Directed by Jamie Redford, this film delves into the lives of several students at Lincoln High, Walla Walla's alternative high school. In the last five years, the school has shifted to a model of non-punitive discipline structure that works with a trauma-informed staff and administration who are armed with research about Adverse Childhood Experience(s) (ACEs) and the affect that living in an environment of chronic stress and compound trauma has on the brains of children. It followed several students over the course of a year, graduating in 2013. It is astounding to me the differences that have been the result of this pardigm shift over such a short period of time. Watch the trailer by clicking here.

Coming from a child welfare background, it was already a subject that was interesting to me, and I've been a bit of a docu-junkie lately watching almost every documentary available on Netflix revolving around our penal system, drug wars, food insecurity, substance abuse, immigration...all of which seem to tie back into generational poverty and stress. As one documentary ends and I go to choose the next, I find myself thinking about all of the social implications, but then not sure of concrete ways I could apply what I've just seen to my own environment. After finishing last night, it was almost more overwhelming because it is my environment that I just spend the last two hours watching. I lay in bed with my mind turning over ideas and thinking about the kids and teachers in the film (Hey! She went to bootcamp with me; hey! I know her!).

So, back to what we can do. Immediately. Without special training. Be kind to each face you see walking around town. Give grace freely and without patronism, even when you know a person, you don't know all that they struggle with. Know someone that works at Lincoln? Support them. They're willingly taking on an enormous emotional load by working with a high-risk student body. You can love the kids and your work, but it still takes a toll. Donate to the attached Health Center- they have a wishlist with items as easy as picking up an extra box of band-aids or granola bars the next time you go grocery shopping. They also have an extensive list of volunteer opportunities for everything from spring cleaning at the clinic to stuffing envelopes for mailers to volunteering your time as a healthcare provider or mental health professional. I hope that the list of ways we can support only grows from here.

The only misgiving I had about it was that a lot of the shots were of the most barren parts of town (empty railroad tracks, highway underpasses, etc). I totally understand why this was done from a theatric/cinematic standpoint, but I felt like in order to get a full picture of the community, it's almost more dramatic to see the stark contrast between wealth and poverty in this little town, and that they all exist within blocks of each other, often within the same block. It makes the work that Lincoln High is doing so well even more important.

If you didn't get a chance to attend the screening (both showings were sold out), I know that there are several people interested in organizing screenings and I hope to take on organizing one for later this fall. After a few months, it will be released to the educational sector and then in Spring of 2016, it will be released for individual purchase on platforms like iTunes and Amazon. There is so much to be said about this topic and the film that I can't even seem to gather my thoughts. It's a great conversation starter, and I know it will result in more schools in the nation making a shift to this model where they can. I hope that in our community it raises awareness, and support of, the amazing things that can result from tireless educators, counselors, law enforcement and healthcare providers who are a source of unwavering support and stability to the kids who need it the very most.

Mr. Sporleder, Lincoln's principal, has since retired and is working with the Children's Resilience Initiative 'Resilience Trumps Aces' and travels for speaking engagements and education throughout the country. The results from Lincoln's implementation of the trauma-aware protocols have gained national attention.

During the Q & A last night, Mr. Redford said that Paper Tigers' follow-up Resilience is in the works, and it sounds like it'll be another good one to watch.

Peanut Butter Oat Bars

When I had Stella I was overwhelmed by the number of friends who dropped by with a meal or a treat, along with their company, outside of the schedule arranged by the local mom's group. One afternoon my friend Carol came over to meet Stella and brought with her an after-school snack for the kids in addition to dinner. Those granola bars were so tasty, and I'm sure more so because I was so recently post-partum and I was starving constantly, both for food and contact with my friends. For the uber-health conscious, it should be disclosed that these are more treat than snack. Just the way I like it. Be glad they don't have corn syrup. (except in the m&m's).

Today was the first day of school for the big boys, so I pulled out my recipe binder when I got home from dropping them off, hoping I still had the card. I've tweaked the recipe each time and I think I nailed it today. Originally from the food blog, Garnish With Lemon, these chewy granola bars with peanut butter easily satisfy that craving for sweet with a hit of salt. I'm listing my rendition; for the original, click the above link.

Peanut Butter Oat Bars

Spray 8x8 or 9x9 pan with nonstick spray

3/4 c. peanut butter (heaping)
3 T coconut oil
1 1/2 T butter
1/2-3/4 tsp salt (depends if your pb has salt in it)
1/3 c. honey
3 T brown sugar
1 t vanilla
3 c. old fashioned oats
3T m&m candies (mini's would be perfect, but I have the big daddies in the hopes that I'll eventually get to use them as potty training rewards for Jackie John Jones; #diapersforlyfe )

Optional:
mini chocolate chips, peanut butter chips, (reese's pieces would probably be fantastic!)

Pulse 2 c. oats in a blender or food processor until finely ground and add to a bowl with the remaining 1 c. oats. (I like this ratio better than the 1:2 ground:whole in the original). In a saucepan over medium heat combine peanut butter, oil, butter, salt, honey and brown sugar until melted, remove from heat and stir in vanilla.

Pour mixture over oats and stir until combined. There should be no dry oats outside of the liquid mixture. Add your optional treats (or leave them out for a marginally healthier treat) and press firmly into pan. Chill in the refrigerator for 30 minutes. Run a knife around the edge to loosen and turn out onto a cutting board. I cut mine into 20 portions by making three cuts vertically and four horizontally. With the age of my kids, not all of them need a full bar when added to fruit or whatever else we have after school. The originally recipe simply cuts them in half and then makes five cuts for twelve (12) servings.

Store in the refrigerator, at room temperature, or in your belly.

Saturday Sweet Tooth

Most weekend mornings, I take time to make a hot breakfast ranging from pancakes to egg dishes. This week, H's writing prompt was to wax poetic about his favorite breakfast and he chose pancakes, saying he 'mostly ate them at his granny's' -um, okay, we'll just forget about the 30+ weekends a year that I make them at our house. Not that I'm keeping score, because in the contest of mom vs granny when it comes to who's more awesome, mom will usually lose.

Childish feelings aside, Friday night I got these oatmeal pancakes started. It had been a long time since I'd made them-maybe even since we lived in Massachusetts, but I remembered them as being a super hearty breakfast option passed to me from my sister. Oats and buttermilk (or a buttermilk substitute-this is a great resource and I always use either the vinegar or greek yogurt method) are left to comingle in the fridge overnight. The addition of a scant amount of flour, some eggs and oil the next morning make for a fairly liquid batter, so let the edges set completely before you flip them.

You can serve them, as the recipe dictates, with warm chunky applesauce or drizzle with maple syrup. I had some applesauce I'd made and frozen last year, but served it on the side and the kids loved them. There is no added sugar in the actual batter, so you have complete control over that aspect with the amount of syrup you use.

I love that these are really filling with just one good luncheon-plate sized pancake, but still also very satisfying for that Saturday morning sweet tooth. (Someday I'll remember to photograph the pancakes either as I'm drizzling on the syrup, or just before. That day was not yesterday.)

Overnight Oats Buttermilk Pancakes

2 Cups Old Fashioned Oats
3 Cups of Buttermilk
1/2 c. flour (I used whole wheat-I love Prairie Gold by Wheat Montana, which is non-GMO and a light color, for things like pancakes because it lends to a lighter-colored end result.)
1 t. baking powder
1 t. baking soda
1/4 t. salt
2 eggs lightly beaten
1/4 c. vegetable oil (or coconut or olive oil to make whole-food friendly-depending on the brand, you will taste both of these oils, so consider that in your end result wishes)

Mix oats and buttermilk together in a bowl and store covered in the fridge overnight.

The next morning, mix the dry ingredients together and then add the egg/oil mixture. Finally, stir in the oats and buttermilk until a uniform consistency.

Cook pancakes in a heated griddle over medium heat, waiting until the edges are set before flipping, and serve with applesauce for a fall treat, or alternate toppings of your choice. With oatmeal as the base, the flavor combinations are endless!

Child's Play

Last week I was doing my daily cleaning out of the backpacks and I flipped through the stack in Charlie's folder to see if there was anything that would make the cut into the 'I may keep this forever' stack instead of being recycled immediately.

First, I saw this photo:

Super cute, right? A new little kinder drawing about his experiences on the school playground, lots of detail and appropriate colors; all the hallmarks of a maturing artiste.

I continued to flip through the stack and physically startled when I happened upon this gem:

What the french?! What in the world is going through his mind?! Is he a budding psychopath? Just...what?! I took a moment and paused. 'Hey, Char-what's this picture about?'

Here's his explanation (I made him re-explain for me to record it):

A giant grizzly bear (that I didn't have time to color in all the way) who he's fighting with his brother and dad in order to protect his baby brother in the tree is so much better than what I'd been thinking. It's what happens when we apply adult thinking and experiences to what we see little kids doing. Still probably a little more gory that is optimal, but more indicative of a healthy imagination than a Dexter-esque future. Save your worries for another day, mama. Simmer down.

Ladies Who Brunch

Last night, before leaving the house, I gave my kids a choice for dinner-one of them involved using a neglected loaf of french bread to make french toast. I had made a large crock o' soup for teacher conferences as part of the meal the PTA provided and also as dinner for a new mama. I love doing both of those things, and generally I just make enough that the same meal feeds my family as well. Last night the stars just didn't align so my poor little cobbler's children were shoeless. Feel very bad for them.

I got home from delivering dinner to find that J had already re-heated leftovers and the kids were just sitting down to dinner, hooray! Charlie was immediately incensed that I hadn't made the promised french toast so I blurted that we'd have it for breakfast the next morning before really thinking about the fact that I would never get my act together to make french toast on a school morning. Scrambled eggs and toast? Sure. French toast? Never gonna happen, way too high-maintenance.  Our Best Bites to the rescue; their Overnight Baked French Toast is so insanely good, and it takes almost no time the morning of because all of the prep is done the night before (hence the overnight in the title, in case you didn't catch that piece). 

Eggs, milk, half and half, brown sugar, cinnamon and vanilla soak into a crusty loaf of bread all night creating the most perfect custardy middle and crispy top after spending a little less than an hour in your oven the next morning. Were it not a school day, I'd have added the streusel topping that normally accompanies it, but I figured that the drizzle of melted butter and maple syrup were more than their teachers wanted already. See? Always thinking of the teachers.

Before I went to bed I set, and obsessively re-checked, my alarm for six so there was no chance of oversleeping (silly me, I didn't need that alarm). This morning I pre-heated the oven to 350, put the pan in the oven, set a timer and laid back down pretending that my kids were not already up and playing with legos in the pre-dawn light.

About forty-five minutes later the house was filled with the smell of warm, sweet cinnamon-y eggs as I pulled out a pan of perfection with golden peaks and let it cool. I have to admit, I was feeling like pretty hot shit as I melted a stick of butter and warmed the syrup. I called the boys out and my heart warmed as they recognized the smell and raced to the table. This is where memories are made.

Are you gagging yet? Don't worry. The very next words out of Charlie's mouth were 'Seriously?! This is the kind of french toast that I don't like!' Sigh.

Good Common Horse Sense

The boys have thus far not shown a ton of interest in organized sports. They like them, but haven't found one that they love yet. They both like to do a lot outdoors, but they're not the next Beckham or Brady, and the amount of time and energy spent racing them around to practices and games for something they don't truly enjoy is simply not worth the stress, so the search for a fun activity continues.

H has expressed a ton of interest in horseback riding, but finding a stable that provides lesson horses in an area with a lot of ranches and farms has been challenging as most people have their own horses when it comes time to learn.

I felt like I won the lottery when I found a woman who not only gives great lessons, but prefers to use her own horse. And what a beauty he is. Tall, strong, gentle and a mere twenty-two years old, O will ease my kids into the horsey world with style.

Last night was their first lesson and they both had a great time. At 17.3 hands high, I was worried that Charlie wouldn't want to get on, but he actually did really awesome, following the teacher's commands, learning great posture and how to keep his seat. H was a little bit more reluctant to keep his hands off the horn, but the teacher is adamant about learning how to sit properly and not handicap yourself by relying on the reins or saddle, so it's a great combination of calm reassurance and strict insistence on good form.

I'm looking forward to seeing how they improve and also for the respect and discipline that comes from interacting with an animal (especially one so large in comparison to yourself.) And, of course, the biology lessons that come from being around farm animals are awesome. Why yes, children, horses' penises do get really long when you're brushing them down after unsaddling and they finally relax. And so it begins...

Of All the Fish in the Sea...

I love Valentine's Day, but this year, I was determined to do it on the cheap. Because who doesn't love a cheap date?! Not only did I want to find something that was inexpensive, but after last year's cookie bouquet debacle, I was also looking for something dead simple. Without thinking about the date on the calendar, I planned a trip to visit a girlfriend, putting me home late the night before the day of love and actually being out town during Charlie's party, for which I volunteered to make cupcakes. Naturally. So I needed to have everything done and ready for the kids to assemble while I was gone; I filled out Charlie's for him, but Henry did all of his own.

For the kids' class exchange a free printable, lollipop bags from my party supplies and a few bags of Swedish fish created a cute valentine with a small amount of candy. Goldfish crackers, which we already own, could have been used, but I had zero faith that a bunch of tiny bags of goldfish crackers would get to school un-crushed, so sugary red dye number whatever for the win!

A few of the teachers got the same valentine as the kids, but for the classroom teachers and the school secretaries, I found this free printable which I printed onto pink cardstock from my paper stash and fastened onto re-usable cups you can buy at Starbucks for $1 each. I was at Safeway and planned to buy the reusable cups you see on display, but at $6 each, it didn't really fit into my V-day on the cheap scheme. I remembered the cup I'd purchased for my own use the month before, and snapped up several of them. I had planned to get Starbucks giftcards to go with each one, but then saw the new latte versions of Via. I picked up a couple of four-pack boxes, but then saw the single serve 'try before you stock up' samples that were $1 each. Hmm..same product size and almost half the price. Why yes, yes I did clear them out. 1-2 in each cup along with brown paper lunch bags that I cut into strips and crinkled, reminiscent of cafe au lait (and also free). I added in peppermint kisses because I still had an unopened bag of them that I didn't use for midnight kisses on New Year's. Valentines day at under $25 out of pocket  for two kids; teacher gifts and classroom exchange combined, not too shabby!

A Zig Zag on a Straight Line

From the beginning, H has had a hard time in school. Every year seems to get a little bit better overall as he matures, but there is always a period of time when things have been going swimmingly and nothing significant has changed that, BLAM-O!, I'm broad-sided with a few weeks of behaviors and choices that make me want to pull my hair out. This year, the culmination was on Monday and that evening I noticed he had a little bit of a cold, so I decided I would keep him home the next day to spend some time with him one-on-one. Without going into it too deeply, (that could be a whole blog on its own) he is such a great kid; quirky, funny, wicked smart, awesome imagination, but man is he strong-willed! He'll be a force to be reckoned with as an adult and I just have to keep repeating that to myself. Daily. Multiple times. 

I almost never keep my kids home for a sick day, so this was his first of the year and after we dropped Charlie at school and put Jack down for his nap, we had the afternoon to ourselves. 

I asked him what he wanted to do, and he said he wanted to make a gift for Charlie; a 'dragon head' bag to take his sharing objects to school each week. After we talked about logistics, I had him pick the fabric for a bag for each of them, and found an image on the computer which we printed on printable burlap. The images aren't super crisp on the burlap, it's probably something I'd use for a big bold letter for a bunting in the future, but I actually like how these turned out. The burlap has a plastic coating on the back that guides it through your printer really smoothly, and negated the need for interfacing. It was H's first time really using the sewing machine alone and he did a great job! He took his time, and it only took about an hour from picking the fabric to proudly holding his finished bag. 

After several attempts to find a dragon image that we could agree was good to take to pre-k, we switched to finding Lego images for Charlie's bag and stumble across what I'm guessing was a party favor label, because there were several names; score! Henry chose this image of a person challenging a dragon for his own. 

For the blue bag, we used a fat quarter and cut it in half so that the bottom edge was the fold. The image was sewn onto the bag before seaming. Both bags were a long, thin piece with just the two side-seams to sew, and then the top was folded over twice and hemmed. I didn't have him pin it, because stopping to take the pins out seemed like it would complicate things for such a simple, straight seam. 

Love those little boy hands against the fabric

I was pretty impressed with how straight and consistent his stitches were! He honestly did this ALL by himself.

All ready to take snacks and sharing to school

Apples to Apples

What's more fun that a sink-full of apples that need peeling? Answer: Pretty much everything

This year, part of J's gift basket from work was a bushel of apples. Fuj's and Galas and Granny Smith, oh my! I had been buying my weight in 'squeezy applesauce' from costco, and had seen that you could buy diy squeeze bags, so off to amazon my fingers flew. After researching, I realized that most of them were intended to be reusable, but let me tell you what I don't want to spend time rinsing out and sanitizing; yup, plastic bags with a teeny, tiny hole. I found this 50 pack of bags (single use) by Infantino and read the reviews, which mentioned you should spring for the 'squeeze station'-although you could probably fill the bags with a baster, but that would be ridiculously tedious. Spend the twenty bucks on the filling station. Between the bags and the filling station, it works out to slightly less than a dollar a bag (the squeeze station comes with ten bags), and the produce was a gift. It's still a bit more expensive than the GoGo Applesauce I was buying before but you'll only buy the station once, and you have greater control of your ingredients.

But first, before we get ahead of ourselves, you must make the apples into sauce. I've had a simple apple peeler, corer, slicer that you suction to the counter and operate with a hand crank for years, but for whatever reason it's not been working very well, so I got to move between peeling with a vegetable peeler and paring knife until I wanted to stab my eyes out. What started as a fun little Saturday morning project quickly morphed into what amounted to a pile of apples that reminded me of a giant plate of spaghetti; no matter how many I peeled and sliced; turn around and they're still there! 

Pretty much the only apple that worked correctly.

I cooked a batch of applesauce on the stovetop by filling up my beloved Soleil with mixed apples, one-half cup of water and some cinnamon, I let it bubble away on medium heat for twenty minutes (I only know that because I set a timer lest I forget about it while trying to organize my vortex of a closet) gave a stir then let it go for twenty minutes more and removed from the heat. After mashing and picking out the peel that I could-and burning my fingers-I read the directions for the handy squeeze station and went to fill my first three bags. Turns out, the applesauce needs to be really smooth, or you just get super hot apple sauce gushing back up from the plunger onto your hand and arms. Which feels awesome, thanks for asking. 

After the first round, I used the immersion blender to get it super smooth and all was well. My only other tip is to unscrew the 'filler' from the bag before pulling up on the plunger, or you'll suck some of the food back up into the cylinder, which is not where you want it. Even if you push down and pull up several times. Or slowly. Or quickly. Vacuums are sneaky little bitches. 

The second batch was all granny smith. I filled the crock of my 6 quart slow cooker to the brim and topped it with a glug of 100% pure maple syrup, then cooked it for about four hours on low. The two batches made about twenty-five bags of applesauce. Jack-attack was my taste tester and he proclaimed it delicious. 

(Because the bags are not insulated or airtight, it's important to remember that you're not preserving your food, but rather storing it. According to the packaging, you can store them in the fridge for about 48 hours and in the freezer for a few months. I plan to thaw them overnight in the fridge for lunches the next day. Or in a bowl of warm water the morning of when I've forgotten to pull them out the night before.)

Since I was already in stab-your-eyes-out-if-you-see-another-apple mode, (seriously, I would never make it in factory work) I decided to make three apple pies as well. My mom's (technically my mom's bestie's) recipe is still my favorite, mostly because imperfections only lend to its 'rustic' nature. Perfect for half-assers like me. 

Don't get too excited, this is for three pies. Only one stick of butter for each.

a little on the crispy side, but who has time to babysit the oven?

Heritage Apple Pie

Filling:

6 c. sliced apples (granny smith work great!)

1/2 c. sugar

2 t. cinnamon

1 9 inch pie crust (unbaked- I like Marc Bittman's pie crust recipe the best)

Topping:

1c. flour

1/2 c. sugar

1/2 softened butter (I used salted, if you don't, add about 1/2 t of kosher salt)

Line a pie pan with the crust and flute the edges. Mix together the apples, cinnamon and sugar and fill up the pie crust. It will be heaping. This is good. For the topping, mix the flour and sugar and then cut in the softened butter with forks, a pastry cutter, or by massaging the flour into the butter with your hands; pick your poison. Top the pie with the topping (duh) and then bake at 400 degrees for 50-55 minutes. I used my convection function so I do it at about 380 for about 40 minutes. Cover crust edge with a pie ring or tin foil to prevent it from burning. Enjoy a la mode or all on its own.

School Daze

This morning I woke up at 6:45 and realized my house was still silent...and it was the first day of school. The only alarm I set these days is for my 5am running date, but I've been struggling to motivate for that 4:30 wake time lately as my neighbor, who I've been training with, was diagnosed with a stress fracture so will be resting almost right up to her marathon. Time waits for no mama, however, so it was out of bed for us and into a routine. I try really hard to make school mornings, especially the first day, as stress-free as possible. Even though I woke later than I wanted, the kids were dressed, fed a healthy breakfast (egg and cheese with ham on whole wheat english muffins; a favorite of the whole clan), hair and teeth brushed and then it was off to the front porch laden with supply-filled backpacks and lunchboxes for a quick picture or twelve.

H became increasingly somber as we approached his school, but by the time I left him he was smiling and comfortable in his classroom. Last year, Charlie cried every day for the first few months that I left him but this morning, he was able to say good bye, which was good since there was already one little boy screaming hysterically.

Back home, I walked in the door to be greeted by relative silence-until I realized I should probably turn around and get Jack in from the garage. Laundry whirring, counters wiped, and babe laid down for a nap, I have some free time-I think I'm gonna like this.

Every knitter's dark hour is when they have to insert a lifeline of waste yarn and rip back...If I continued with my modification it would end up being a maxi-dress. Good thing I have some dedicated knitting time today!

Kinder Care

My lack of posts of late is not because I don't have a million ideas swirling around, but because I haven't had the time or presence of mind to sit down and translate them into actual words. Here's my best attempt.

Last year, we made the decision to retain H in Kindergarten. As an August boy we understood that he would be the youngest in his class and that might go over like a toot in church, but that's how we roll so we sent him anyhow. I don't regret that decision because he learned a ton and I became a better mother to him, which I attribute to being able to appreciate his sweet quirky self a whole lot more when I wasn't bombarded with it 12-14 hours a day. Over the summer, we had a great time and I didn't ever feel that 'when is school going to start?!' panic that so many of my friends described to me.

Then school started. For the first week, he was the model student with a normal amount of testing his limits and missing his mama. Then the shenanigans came to a head and culminated in the use of the 'D' word by more than one person at his school. That's right; they were calling my little cherub defiant! Okay, so I know that he's stubborn, willful and really likes to do his own thing, but defiant just seemed like such a harsh word. And, that's when I realized that if I, as his mother, didn't advocate for him and take the bull by the horns, then who would? I don't know how many of you have had to take 'the call' from school, but I started to dread that number flashing on our caller ID. We had stopped watching TV during the school week at the suggestion of a friend, my kids are asleep every night by 7pm and we practice 'the family meal' at night with healthful breakfasts at home and lunches packed each day. I don't know what else I could be doing while still maintaining my sanity (and three blogs, a marriage, a running training schedule, a 3 year-old, Clifford the big black dog, the rest of my household and a small knitting business, ha!)

After a consult with his pediatrician and collaborating with his teacher (who I really like) on an informal behavior plan that was very concrete, Mr. H has had a much better time at school and is even starting to (gasp) enjoy it! He has two things to focus on: Listen and Follow Directions.

I found an article online about living with strong-willed children that gave me goosebumps as I read it because it could have been written about H. He's a super smart kiddo who's pretty quirky, and has a huge heart. However, he's a six year old boy who doesn't seem to understand (or yet care?) how all of his actions affect other people. Being super concrete, setting specific limits which are consistently enforced, along with physical exercise after school everyday and trying my very, very hardest not to raise my voice with him have all seemed to culminate in positive behavioral change. This could be just a honeymoon phase, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed and my voice to zen-like tones in hopes that this school year is the true gift of time that we intended it to be.

School should be enjoyed, especially kindergarten! I'm finally starting to see how fun school can be for him, so here's to a banner year for Mr. H (and his mother who would most likely be put on Zoloft if I cry one more time when his teacher calls.) What fun has the new school year brought for your family?

K.I.T. (Knitty-in-training, of course!)

From the time we lived in Massachusetts, H loved to sit next to me and 'knit a stitch' of whatever I was working on. He was usually content to put his hands in the general vicinity while I manipulated the yarn and needles to create the sense of accomplishment while I maintained my own tension and gauge. I know, I'm a complete freak. Well, the jig is up, folks and H wants me to 'help his hands' no more!

Last night, as I was knitting java jackets, I handed him a skein of wool and two needles and gave him my blessing to do with it as he wished (after he was moving the needles in and out of the afghan on our bed). I looked over and to my horror found a pile of yarn that was more mangled than a plate of spaghetti that had been put in the spin cycle. 'What are you doing?!' I shrieked. He dropped the yarn and offending needles and looked a little hurt by my lack of appreciation for his fiber genius and replied 'You said I could do whatever I wanted with it.' Right. You've got me. 

All he really wanted to do was create something and I acted like a total freak when what he created was a fat lot of work for me to wind the ball back up. But, it was my own fault, a fact of which I quickly assured him. Clearly, we were going to have to start back a few steps. I remembered when I was attending a training for work and there were several knitters in the room. My friend was knitting on one of those plastic looms and is just one of those people who would unabashedly say 'Yeah, they're actually for little kids.' Good thing she did, because today H and I took a little trip to Jo-Ann's where he picked out a skein of bulky technicolor yarn and a plastic loom so that he could create a neck-warmer for himself; or a moo-whoo as we're calling it, since Cowls are obviously a combination of cows and owls. 

He actually got the hang of it really quickly and this has been the most fantastic quiet time ever. I have to do the loops on each turn to make it go more smoothly for him, and so it won't keep unraveling; it's a nice balance of a project to work on together but that still allows him some autonomy.  He's a young five, and I got one for Charlie also, but I think I'll be returning that loom. For my kiddos, I think five is plenty young. If you're blessed with quiet, sit-still girls who listen to you, have at it a little younger!

The only thing is, I realized after I'd opened the package that the loop we got is for baby hats, so hopefully it fits over his melon when he's done. I told him that on the off-chance it doesn't, I'll buy him another skein of the yarn and make one myself so he and his dolly can be matchers. If we wanted to do a scarf with the loom as my friend did, the ends would just need to be seamed. However, I'm thinking I'd have a couple calls from his teacher if he went to school with a scarf, so I'm not even going there. 

The torch is being passed, my friends.

Update: I bound off after he got bored, and it's literally an arm-cuff. If you want to replicate this crafty endeavor, get the largest size you can!