Friday, May 15, 2009

They Might Be Giants

Yesterday as I fastened H's car seat, he said "I have small boobs." Yes, yes you do. As do all 3 year-old boys...hopefully.

Of course, that wasn't the end, it was followed up by "What kind of boobs do you have, Mom?" "Um, I don't know, what kind of boobs do you think I have?" Yes, I understand that open-ended questions of this nature are just an opening for an answer you don't want to hear, but I'm just trying to prep myself for a lifetime of questions by my sons that may get awkward.

"I think your boobs are the GIANT kind." Well, had I been in 8th 12th grade still, this would have been extremely flattering. But at this point in my life, I'm just glad he didn't say "the really saggy, deflated kind."

The other day, he was asking J when he would be able to drink beer. J answered that it was only for adults. Without missing a beat H replied "When I get hair on my penis?" J is very modest, so this caused deep blushing on his part while I laughed out loud.

H is obsessed with "being a Mommy", which I can't really fault since I'm the one he's around all the time, and he doesn't yet quite understand the gender assigned to the role (oh yeah, and I'm wicked cool.) After establishing the development needed for him to drink beer, H said "I'm going to streeeeeeeeeetch really big and get hair on my penis to be a grown-up Daddy, and then I'm gonna streeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch again and turn into a Mommy!" Hmm...so is this a commentary on my size relative to J's? He is more trim, but we're not exactly Jack Sprat and his wife. Maybe it's just that my presence is very large and in-charge?

Confused about whether or not the sentiment should hurt my feelings, I still couldn't help but laugh so I'm sure there will be loads more inappropriate conversations. The presenter from Planned Parenthood talked to us about being open about sex from an early age with kids, but there's no way I'm broaching puberty with H yet. Oi, I don't know if I'm ready for all this boy talk. I was ready for pads, periods and hormonal rages, but what do I do with these little Y chromosomes running all around me? I guess I have a few years to keep figuring it out...

6 comments:

That Girl said...

I love it! little j has been very curious about breasts and pubic hair lately -- although she also finds them quite funny. True to my "researcher" nature I've been looking for age appropriate books. I'm not ready either!

Sherri said...

Ok, this time I really DID spit my coffee from laughing so hard!

Crafty Mama said...

I need to stop reading blogs when I'm eating.....:)

Maggie said...

So funny! C has been obsessed with nipples. She detested mine when I was pregnant with P. She claimed they were too big and dark. And just the other day, she undressed a Barbie doll and said, "Mommy, she has nipples like yours." Last I checked, Barbie had quite perky breasts, so perhaps I should take that as a compliment?

Sally HP said...

Ha! Barbie boobs would be awesome...in fact I believe Miss California has them and they were paid for by the Miss USA commission? I think the thing that is hard about having boys is you have to start deciding when privacy and modesty need to kick in...with girls you can have the 'family bathroom' for a long time (well, forever really).

Amy, Bryan and Zoey said...

Totally hilarious! Maggie, Zoey has also been intrigued with nipples lately--always asking if she can touch Mommy's. I told her to leave mine alone and touch her own. ;-) You guys are right, it's funny how early this body-fascination starts in kids. Glad to know I'm not the only one debating whether to tell Zoey about her vagina when she asks, or just brush it off by telling her it's her bottom!!