Monday, December 29, 2008

Sex In My City

Are you looking for a family activity that's heavily laced with a dose of awwwwkward? Have I got the film for you! During my stay in Orygun, my sisters and I had decided that we'd establish one of the nights as a "sister night", eating lunch in town and then heading over to Granny and Papa's to watch movies, eat popcorn and chocolate and talk as sisters will. Old Man Weather decided to foil our plans, closing the road between our house and town, so Myrtle was not able to partake in the sister fun. However, my recently upgraded extended-cut version of the SATC movie would not be put on the back burner, so I decided "What the heck...let's watch it tonight after the kids go to bed."

Right. So that means my senior citizen (but not lacking in good humor) conservative parents, my aunt The Nun, J, Milly and I would be settling in for an evening with my best girls; Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte. Before starting the film, I noted that my aunt was sequestered in the back room, and would not be joining us...maybe for the best, but I'm known to always push the envelope on appropriate.

I began to put the DVD in the player and halted. I first had to explain the ground rules, because this movie is not called Chastity and the City. While there would be multiple sex scenes, they are not for the purpose of eroticism, but as tasteful exemplars of humor and relationship status. My mother impatiently retorted "Like we don't know anything about sex, Sally." Fine. Close. Menu. Play. Ahhh...the familiar sights and sounds of fashion, men and friendship began rolling across the screen.

As usual, my mom was settled on the couch with one eye glancing at her current smut novel and the other watching the TV. I made sure she knew that I wouldn't be answering her questions if she couldn't deign to give the movie her full attention. Commence the first sex mom is feigning embarrassment until I pointed out the irony that she could comfortably read about a man putting his throbbing member into some one's slick womanhood in the latest Kathleen Woodiwiss, but was not able to maturely watch a sex scene between two married people...with clothes on their top halves.

A little later into the film, my mom started picking at Miranda calling her a 'whiner' and then eventually a "snaggle-toothed brat". My dad, who was trying his darnedest not to express how much he was actually enjoying the witty banter tempered with sexual tension that is Sex and the City retorted back "Kind of like you, Mama?" As a side note, my mom has often compared herself to the Ipana toothpaste beaver, so this comment was not entirely off-base. After about the fifth such comment about the character with whom I've often identified the most, my dander was up. 'Shut! Up!' I said, to which my mom appeared wounded and said "At least you didn't use a four letter word on me." (referring to an earlier even more awkward repartee in which I let slip a question of her that included the f-word as an adjective). Milly, the English teacher, without missing a beat replied "Yes she did. Shut." Ahhh. Point two for the Little Girls.

The rest of the movie flew by with only a couple more incidences. One during the scene at the rehearsal dinner a painting on the wall is seen in the background that is Michaelangelo-esque and a Oui-Oui can be seen. Milly had to vocalize it in the form of a question, of course only to be called a "penis peeker" by my mother (now who's inappropriate?); having long since put her book down, giving the movie her full attention.

J still thinks he's hilarious for his annoying (if not a little true) comparison of the SATC characters with the cast of The Golden Girls. This first came up when he told me they had a second movie in the works. When I wouldn't believe him, he said "Yeah, The Golden Girls." Because, and only because, I couldn't pass up the chance to illustrate my wicked literary skills, I said "Ha! SATC: The Golden Years."

When it was over, I anxiously asked my dad what he thought...I know he really liked it, it is the man who

You may be appalled that I viewed the movie with my parents, but they read my blog everyday and they "knew what I was when they picked me up."

The extended version has some cute scenes in it, and is well worth the extra $10 (I think) and that doesn't even include the gems I'm sure to find on the second disc, including a downloadable digital copy and an interview with SJP.


Crafty Mama said...

It sounds like they handled it pretty well! This is coming from the girl that saw "American Pie" with her parents in theatres.

Amanda Villagómez said...

You captured the moments well:) Good times!