Holiday Wishes

I am a big fan of having your holiday shopping and crafting done well ahead of time. I said I was a fan, I didn't say I was a practitioner.

Last year, if you remember, I shocked everyone by having all items packaged and ready to go well before the shipping cut-offs and felt rather smug. This year, I'll be happy just to get myself to the airport in time. I did, however, wish to purchase J's gift in advance so that I could have it shipped to my parent's house in Oregon, where we'll be celebrating Festivus Christmas.

I was browsing through the random gathering of obscure 80's music and triple b movies that is J's Amazon Wishlist when I came upon this gem...

That's right folks. My husband wants a machete for Christmas. Ralphie may have held a child-like naivete in hoping for a Red Ryder BB gun, but J is off his rocker if he thinks that a machete will ever be in my home, sheathed or not. I can only guess which wall in our apartment he thought it would grace. Probably the same one he proposed to use as the host of our tiny (read: gargantuan) Yakima Skybox.

Did he watch Indiana Jones too recently? I just can't wrap my brain around this. According to Charles Lummus, who reviewed it on Amazon "You will never find a tool that does as much as the "Woodsman's Pal". It functions as an axe, hatchet, machete, draw knife, spoke shave,camp knife, and hammer. You can fell trees, split kindling, or chop onions, it does it all!"

Just when I think I've got him figured out, he throws in another wrench. Kind of like the time he revealed to me, as we were preparing to move away from my family for the first time so that he could attend medical school, that he would like to become a certified locksmith because "everybody needs a trade to fall back on."

Maybe he's just trying to ensure job security by bringing a machete into a household with a pre-school boy who likes to court disaster. Here's the photo in case you didn't click on the link.