Saturday, January 26, 2008

How To Make It In Massachusetts

Hey you, get your mind out of the gutter...I don't mean "make it."

I have discovered that one way to help me adjust to life on the other side (of both the country and "the mommy wars") is to start finding joy in the little things.

I was feeling very defeated that my life had been reduced to changing diapers, making dinners and ensuring that my house was presentable when I hosted mommy functions. Then I started thinking...I could be neither working nor keeping a nice home, so I should be glad that I'm doing one of the two.

Also, it hit me that I'm being presented with this great honor. I get to see H do new things every day and I don't have to be on the receiving end of the stories anymore. I have had to deal with my guilt of taking him out of daycare...I know it's the opposite of most, but his daycare was awesome, and the women in his room truly loved him. I felt comfortable everyday knowing he was there, and he had a wonderful time. Well, I won't lie and say I didn't feel crappy the couple of times that I went to pick him up and he cried because he didn't want to leave...yeah, shining moment.

Mostly, I wouldn't have the time or the inclination to replicate all of the fun crafts that they did with him, or the other activities that they planned on a daily basis. Also, he's had a lot of pbj sandwiches and chicken nuggets since he's been home with me, but he also gets me. It's taken awhile, but I think I'm finding the value in him having me. Even during the times that I'm cranky with him, or we aren't doing some star-studded activity, I realize that the memories I have of my mom are not of her yelling at us (which, pre-Zoloft, helloooooo mommy dearest... slight exaggeration...slight), but they are of being her "taste tester" or making doll clothes or home-made playdough, or the other million fun things she did with us.

So, here's to keeping it simple, and not taking it all too seriously. H, I think I'll take the words of Sonny and Cher, "I got you, Babe."

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