I felt a sense of triumph as they scanned the rumpled tome without fanfare. However, because I have Tourette's of the Catholic Guilt variety, the whole sordid tale came tumbling out and before long there was a conference of librarians, shaking heads and clucking tongues whereupon it was decided that they could not possibly circulate a book in this condition. When I asked why, I was returned with a 'WHY?!' As if I were the most simple of plebes. Apparently a lack of missing or torn pages, a cover that is unscathed (the wrinkles are only on the clear plastic cover applied by the library) and intact and a bibliophilic dedication to book retrieval (aka risking my life in traffic) are not the only requirements for circulation.
She happily informed me that I would now be the proud owner of Case Histories by Kate Atkinson, and that I would be blessed with the honor of donating a copy of said book, valued at $24. I asked if I could purchase it myself and they said that was fine as long as it was in good condition...'better than this one, you mean?'
Driving home I had the brilliant plan to write a gushy and witty letter to the author, in hopes that she would find me and my plight so charming that she'd send a complimentary copy. Unfornutaley, a quick search of the internet did not show direct contacts for her...seriously, why don't all award-winning authors have, if not a blog, then at least a personal webpage with contact information? Maybe to ward off stalkers like me.
Alas, I found a copy of the hardbound book in "very good" condition on Amazon for $12.
6 comments:
Now you know for next time to not say a word:). They probably have your name flagged on the computer to check your books every time when they come in. Watch out!
I can't wait to hear how Chasing Harry Winson (I couldn't remember the exact spelling right now) is.
You'd think that sweep into traffic would've counted for something!! Librarians aren't a very forgiving bunch. I have Tourette's of the Catholic Guilt too....I would've spilled it just as quickly. :)
When I become a famous author, you can be first stalker. Promise.
lurVis...they better not be checking them, since I was so honest!
Uncool...do you really promise? Be careful what you wish for!
What?! Can you just rip the plastic cover off and give the book back?
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